by Doug Naylor

Rimmer stands in for Lister at Kryten’s weekly Mechanoid Development Programme appointment; after rushing through the session on ‘Patience’, he somehow ends up taking over Kryten’s mopping duties on B Deck – then learns that the session was really about ‘Manipulation’. In punishment Kryten is given extra cleaning duties, but is interrupted by a Yellow Alert. On the bridge, Lister and Cat have detected a distress call from an unmanned ship being sucked into a black hole, and are downloading its eCargo in the hope of finding something useful; but Rimmer and Kryten are appalled, realising that the cargo is an S.O.S. Virus that their colleagues have downloaded straight into Red Dwarf’s computer system – the virus locks out the controls and sends the ship heading straight for the black hole. Kryten sets an anti-virus programme running, then he and the others prepare to abandon ship; as they each pack their essentials, Cat finds a pair of reading glasses, and Lister and Rimmer upset the vending machines with the news that they will be left behind to die. Furious at such treatment, all the machines combine their processing power to run the AV, which removes the virus and saves Red Dwarf, then immediately go on strike for equal rights… With the gang left without supplies, lights, oxygen and heat, Rimmer tries changing sides by proposing to stand for election as the machines’ president; knowing what this could lead to, Kryten stands against him. The machines agree to restore the ship’s services, provided the election goes ahead to find someone to represent them. When Lister agrees to support Kryten, Rimmer ensures Cat assists him by blackmailing the vain moggy about his reading glasses. Forming the ‘Liberal Alliance’, Rimmer begins a smear campaign against Kryten and his ‘Independent Futures Party; but Lister and Kryten just retaliate with a counter-smear campaign. Next up is the Party Debate, when Rimmer gives vague answers that seem to win over the vending machine host and its audience. With the polls now neck-and-neck, Kryten tells Lister that the last remaining voter is in the garbage hold: Lister’s old nemesis, Talkie Toaster. Reactivating the bread-obsessed lunatic machine, Lister is forced into making a toast-themed deal that ensures the deciding vote for Kryten… Once Kryten accepts his post as Machine President things go back to normal. Cat confesses about his new glasses to Lister and Kryten, but then chooses to stay cool and puts them in a blender. Meanwhile, Rimmer is left with his punishment: locked in the garbage hold with Talkie Toaster…

Chris Barrie (Arnold J. Rimmer), Craig Charles (Dave Lister), Danny John-Jules (Cat), Robert Llewellyn (Kryten), Daniel Barker (Dispensing Machine 402 / Other Voices), Penelope Freeman (Dispensing Machine 403), Oliver Maltman (Other Dispensing Machines), David Ross (Talkie Toaster)

Directed by Doug Naylor

Produced by Richard Naylor and Kerry Waddell
Executive producers Simon Lupton, Henry Normal and Doug Naylor
Co-produced by Baby Cow Productions and Grant Naylon Productions for Dave / UKTV

TX: (Dave)
2nd November 2017 @ 9:00 pm

*Featuring Dave Lister, Arnold Rimmer, Cat and Kryten

*Although this epsiode was scheduled for television broadcast on the 2nd November 2017, it was released a week earlier for 'on demand' audiences via the UKTV Play platform